Bits and Bobs

New Bits and Bobs added all the time.
Check back often - Cheers!

Sung with Tremendous Applause, by J.B. Smith, the Celebrated Irish Vocalist

Allsopp & Sons U.S. Trademark Application - 1885

Speldhurst Inn, Tunbridge Wells, England - circa 1900, or so…

A Two-Handled God-forgive-me…A Communal Drink Mug…

From within Warren’s Malthouse: “Come , shepherd [Gabriel Oak], and drink. ‘tis gape and swaller with us - a drop of sommit, but not of much account,’ said the malster, removing from the fire his eyes, which were vermilion-red and bleared by gazing into it for so many years. ‘Take up the God-Forgive-Me, Jacob. See if ‘tis warm, Jacob.’

The above passage is from the book “Far From The Maddening Crowd,” by Thomas Hardy (originally 1874, this excerpt is from The Folio Society edition, based on the Wessex edition, 1912). The two-handled God-forgive-me is described as: “a two-handled tall mug standing in the ashes, cracked and charred with heat, it was rather furred with extraneous matter about the outside, especially in the crevices of the handles, the innermost curves of which may not have seen daylight for several years.”

The passage continues: “…but to the mind of any sensible drinker the cup was no worse for that, being incontestably clean on the inside and about the rim. It may be observed that such a class of mug is called God-forgive-me in Weatherbury and its vicinity for uncertain reasons, probably because it size make any given toper fell ashamed of himself when he sees it bottom in drinking it empty.”

Hooray!!! My Midget made the front cover of the 2024 Moss Motors Midget/Sprite parts catalog

Austin Identification Guide - 1971-1975

A small excerpt from a British Leyland publication issued to U.S. dealerships detailing the various models from the Austin line up of cars. This consisted of numerous variants of the Austin Marina, and illustrated here, the Austin America. Even a casual glance at the America reveals its lineage back to the Mini. Unfortunately, Austin cars did not sell all that well in the United States.

French Wines versus British Ales

Well, yes, indeed. Once again, please pay attention to the Doctor’s Orders. Cheers

Proof Positive - Stout Is Good For You

Proof Positive - Ale Is Good For You

As the story goes: “It is worth mentioning that one William Hunter, a collier, was cured in the year 1758 of an inveterate rheumatism or gout, by drinking freely of new ale, full of barm and yest (sic). The poor man had been confined to his bed for a year and a half, having almost entirely lost the use of his limbs. On the evening of Handsel Monday, as it is called, (i.e. the first Monday of the New Year), some of his neighbors came to make merry with him. Though he could not rise, yet he always took his share of the ale as it passed round the company, and, in the end, became much intoxicated. The consequence was , that he had the use of his limbs the next morning, and was able to walk about. He lived more that twenty years after this, and never had the smallest return of his old complaiint.”

From: Observations on the Popular Antiquities of Great Britian: Chiefly Illustrating the Origen of Our Vulgar and Provincial Customs, Ceremonies and Superstitions, by John Brand (Henry G. Bohn, Covent Garden, London, 1853)

Important Safety Tip - One must protect one’s tap from injury…

Here’s another great piece of artwork - Building The Hay-Rick - by artist Birket Foster in his book "Pictures of English Landscape," circa 1863, accompanied with the description seen below - words by Tom Taylor.

Eastcheap …. Not to be Confused With Westcheap

Austin A.40s - one for the Home Market, and one for Export.

Join With Me Brothers: And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O LORD, bless this Thy hand grenade, that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." And the LORD did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu... “Skip a bit, Brother” ... And the LORD spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it." Amen

A Little Poem About Tavern Signs

The Christmas Beer Ration

Thinking About Heading Over To The Colonies? But, What About The Beer?

IIn this case, the Colony is British North America - consisting solely of Canada, and at the time, New Brunswick. Looks like rum was more popular than beer, at least amongst the laboring folks. This little snippet was from the aforementioned book, which was a guide for those thinking about crossing the pond.

It’s All About The Chemistry…

Back of the Queen’s Head from the Inner Yard, 1884 

The Queen’s Head is on the site of a house called the Crowned  or Cross Keys, which belonged to the Poynings family. In 1529  it was used as an armoury, or store place for the King's “harness."  In 1558 it still retained its old sign, for Richard Westray, ale brewer, bequeaths to his wife Joane his messuage on this site, "called the Cross Keyes with the brewhouse garden and stable as it is now newly builded by his son Thomas." In 1634 the house had become the Queen’s Head, and the owner was John Harvard, of Emmanuel College, Cambridge, who afterwards migrated to America and gave his name to Harvard University, Massachusetts. 

About this time it was frequented by carriers, as we learn from John Taylor, “the water-poet." The Queen’s Head seems to have escaped the fire of 1676, perhaps owing to the fact that, by way of precaition, a tenement was blown up at the gateway. The main building was pulled down towards the end of 1895. It was then found to be of half timbered construction, dating possibly from the time of Richard Westray. A carved oak mantelpiece in a room on the first floor appeared to be of the early seventeenth century. 

The galleried portion of the inn, also of considerable age, which had been partly let out in tenements, though much dilapidated, was still standing in June, 1900, but it was all cleared away before the end of the year. A goods yard for the Great Central Railway was then made, but at the time of writing this, though still in use, was to let. The inner yard was then being built over for the purposes of Guy's Hospital. 

Cock Ale - Well if you must… (And stop giggling)

Here's a craft beer for you - Cock Ale (oh, stop giggling)...

This recipe is from an ancient book on brewing techniques, published in England in 1744. This recipe consists of basically three steps:

1. Take a six-month old rooster, truss him up and throw him in a pot to boil. When done be sure to squeeze him well - apparently to get all the flavor!

2. Take the raisons, dates, nutmegs (sic), and mace, and infuse them in a quart of "Canary," which I think refers to red wine from the Canary Islands.

3. Now, take a 12-gallon cask of Ale, toss in the rooster juice and fruits, add some ale yeast, and let the whole thing work for a day or two, depending on the weather.

Tap the cask and enjoy a pint of Cock Ale, which according to the recipe: "Contributes much to the Invigorating of Nature." Why, yes indeed! Ask your local craft brewer to mix up a batch.

Once Again - It Goes Without Saying …
Beer is Good For Your

Witches Bothering You When You Are Making Your Beer? Here’s Some Sage Advice…

It’s Always Good to Plan For One’s Future..
”The Whim”

A Little Poem About The Virtues Of Burton Ales

You see…Even the juice makers know that beer is good for you.

This is an advert from the brochure for the Franco-British Exhibition, which was held in London during the fall of 1908. The event was a celebration of what was known as the Entente Cordiale, a sort of political, commercial, cultural agreement between Great Britain and France.
It is interesting to note that the Schweppes Ltd company was quite proud of the benefits of their “Proset” Fruit Beverage, claiming that “Its nourishing qualities equal those of Beer and Stout.”
The big question - put to you - is whether you would like a glass of fruit beverage, or a pint of really good stout?

Helping the American Serviceman Figure Out How Much He Is Paying For His Beer - 1954

A Few Words About The Irish...

People will put almost anything in beer.

Today's craft brewers will put almost anything in their beers, a trend that apparently has been around for a long time. This is part of the appendix in the book "Colonial Liquor Laws, written by G. Thomann back in 1887.

Old London - 1849

An excerpt from a book called "Handbook for London" by Peter Cunningham, published in 1849. Do these places still exist?

O ENGLAND, country of my heart's desire, 

So, Let's say your buddy calls you up and says to bring over a couple Ankers of Beer.
How much beer do you need to buy?

Ale - It's What's on the Menu

  In the olden days, it is widely acknowledged, beer and ale were often substituted for water, the latter sometimes tainted with disease. Folks, both high and low on the social ladder, were drinking a lot of beer. Here is an excerpt from the book "British Taverns, Their History and Laws," by Lord Askwith, 1928, detailing one day's allotment:
  "The Court and the people drank ale. Witness the allowance given to Lady Lucy, a maid of honour [in the Court of King Henry VIII]. 'Breakfast - a chine of beef, a loaf of bread, a gallon of ale. Luncheon - bread and a gallon of ale, Dinner - a piece of boiled beef, a slice of roast meat, a gallon of ale. Supper - porridge, mutton, a loaf, a gallon of ale."
  That an allowance of four gallons of ale per day, although one must remember that this ale was a weaker version, not the "strong ale" that was also being brewed.

Traditional Royal Navy Toasts*

Monday: Our Ships at Sea
Tuesday: Our Men
Wednesday: Ourselves. As no one is likely to concern themselves
Thursday: A Bloody War and a Quick Promotion
Friday: A Willing Soul and Sea Room
Saturday: Sweetheart and Wives (may they never meet)
Sunday: Absent Friends and Those at Sea

But the standing toast that pleased the most was:

"The Wind That Blows
The Ship That Goes
And The Lass That
Loved A Sailor!"

*Courtesy of a Pusser's British Navy Rum cup

Stout is, indeed, good for you - here's proof

  Norwegian-born Birger Johnsen was a pioneer aviator who learned his trade back in the early part of the last century. In the late 1920s he was flying in Central and South America where he contracted malaria, while later in the 1930s, flying in China, he contracted a severe form of dysentery. Deciding that for health reasons he should return to his adopted home of the United States, he booked passage on a British steamer bound for Vancouver, British Columbia. Johnsen recalls:
   "Really I was thoroughly worn out , thin and haggard when we embarked on the Empress of Russia, bound homeward. But on this floating bit of the far-flung British Empire I discovered the sovereign virtues of true British stout. By the time we landed at Vancouver, I had put on thirteen pounds and was ready and eager again for the next turn of fortune's wheel."

Bob’s-A-Dyin”

Your Poem for the Day…

From the tiny pamphlet "Cries of Banbury and London and Celebrated Stories" published in 1840.
By the way, a "Grenadier" was an old-time soldier that specialized in tossing grenades.
Cheers,
Dave

The Grenadier

Who comes here?
A Grenadier,
What d'ye want?
A pint of beer.

Where's your money?
I forgot;
Get you gone, you
Silly sot.

The 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue

(Updated: 11 November 2018)

Abbess or Lady Abbess - A Bawd, the mistress of a brothel
Adam's Ale - Water
Admiral of the Blue - A landlord or publican wearing a blue apron, as was formerly the custom among gentlemen of the vocation
Ale Draper - An alehouse keeper
All Nations - a composition of all the different spirits sold in a dram shop, collected in a vessel into which the drainings of the bottles and quarteen pots are emptied
Altitudes - The man is in his altitudes - he is drunk
Apple Dumpling Shop - A woman's bosom
Beggar Maker - A publican or ale-house keeper
Bene Bowse - Good beer, or other strong liquor
Bloody - A favorite word used by thieves in swearing, as bloody eyes, bloody rascal, etc...
Bowsing Ken - An alehouse or gin shop, public house
British Champagne - Porter                               Brother of the Bung - a brewer       Bum Fodder - Soft paper for the necessary house
Bung your eye - Drink a dram, strictly speaking, to drink till one's eye is bunged up or closed
Cackling Ken - A hen house                              Chatter Broth - Tea                     Creepers - Gentleman's Companion, lice
Dram-a-Tick - A dram served upon credit         Earth Bath - A grave                   English Burgundy - Porter
Eternity Box - a coffin                                          Field Lane Duck - A baked sheep's head
Flash Ken - A house that harbours thieves        Flustered - Drun
Fousil - The name of a public house, where the Eccentrics assemble in May's Building, St Martin's Lane
Gentry Cove Ken - A gentleman's house            Gin Spinner - A distiller              Gut Scrapper - A fiddler
Guzzle - to guzzle, to drink greedily                     Guzzle Guts - One greedy of liquor
Half-a-Hog - sixpence                                            Half Seas Over - Almost Drunk
Heart's Ease - Gin                                                   Hedge Alehouse - A small obscure alehouse
Hempen Widow - One whose husband has been hanged  
Hertfordshire Kindness - Drinking twice to the same person
Lady Dacre's Wine - Gin                                             Land Pirate - A highwayman
Marine Officer - An empty bottle - marine officers being held useless by the seamen
Maudlin Drunk - Crying drunk                                   Mauled - Extremely drunk, or soundly beaten
Mumpers Hall - An ale-house where beggars are harboured
Munster Plums - Potatoes (Irish)                Mutton Monger - A man addicted to wenching
Nanny House - A brothel                            Noozed - Married, or alternatively hanged
Nugging House - A brothel                        Numbscull - A stupid fellow                            Nunnery - A bawdy house
Petticoat Pensioner - One kept by a woman for secret services                                      Pharaoh - Strong malt liquor
Piss Maker - A great drinker, one much given to liquor                        Pissing Down Anyone's Back - Flattering him
Potatoe Trap - The mouth, as in "Shut your potatoe trap and give your tongue a holiday," i.e. be silent
Prattle Broth - Tea                                      Prattling Box - A church pulpit
Purl Royal - Canary wine, with a dash of tincture of wormwood      Pushing School - A fencing school, also a brothel
Queen Street - a man who is governed by his wife is said to live on Queen Street
Rag Water - Gin, or any other common dram: these liquors seldom failing to reduce those that drink them to rags
Ragamuffin - A ragged fellow, one all in tatters, a tatter-demallion
Ram Cat - A he-cat                 Randy - Obstreperous, unruly, rampant       Rangling - Intriguing with  variety of women
Red Fustian - Port wine         Red Lattice - A public house                         Red Ribbon - Brandy
Rum - Fine, good or valuable                                Rumbo - Rum, water and sugar, also a prison
Scandal Broth - Tea                                               Scotch Pint - A bottle containing two quarts
Scotch Warming Pan - A female bedfellow         Sot Weed - Tobacco
Soul Doctor - A parson                                          Soul Driver - A parson                               Swill Tub - A drunkard
Tallywags - A man's testicles                                 Tarrywags - A man's testicles
Togs - Clothes, the swell is rum togged - the gentleman is handsomely dressed
Tormentor of Catgut - A fiddler                          Tosspot - a drunkard
Tradesmen - Thieves. Clever tradesmen - Good thieves                      Urchin - A child, or little fellow. Also a hedgehog
Warming Pan - A large old-fashioned watch                                          Whisker Splitter - A man of intrigue
White Ribbon - Gin
Yankey, or Yankey Doodle - A booby, or country lout. A name given to New England men in North America. A general appellation for an American
Zounds - An exclamation, short for God's wounds

So, How Well Do You Know Your British Accents?

According to this page on the BBC website there are over 50 distinct regional dialects in the UK. Author Rowena Henley states that nearly 900 million people in the world speak English - as a first or second language - although not all of them can easily understand each other. So, with some 50 variations in the UK alone, Ms. Henley asks," Do you know your Cockney from your Geordie?" Click here and take the quiz.

Well, If You Are Going to Force Me to go to Church, then …

An Ode to the Marine Craft Section

  The following is a little poem from a 1942 issue of a publication called "Island Wings," produced by the Royal Air Force in 1942, on the island of Malta. The poem references the indefatigable spirit of the Air Sea Rescue Service, also known as the Marine Craft Section, during World War Two. Considering the number of aircraft shot down over the Mediterranean, and ships sunk in the same sea, these guys were probably quite busy. And to the hapless aviator or sailor, a splendid sight to see.

The Horse and the Mule live 30 years and nothing known of Wines and Beers:
The Goat and Sheep at 20 die and never taste of Scotch and Rye;
The Cow drinks water by the ton but at 18 is mostly done;
The Dog at 15 cashes in without the aid of Rum or Gin;
The Cat in milk and water soaks and then in 12 short years it croaks;
The modest sober bone dry Hen lays eggs for nogs and dies at 10;
All animals are strictly dry, they Sinless live and swiftly die;
But Ginful, Sinful Rum-soaked Marine Craft Section men
Survive to three score years and ten
And some of us, those mighty few,
Stay pickled till we're well passed ninety-two

The Highest Pub in England … Well, Perhaps

Anti-Theft System - 1955

So who needs a microwave, laser-guided security system with satellite tracking and data uplink to Interpol? 
Here is a decided low-tech system from the mid-1950s. Certainly works for me - I wouldn't come near that MG.

An Excerpt...

   Inspector Mulvaney spotted him parking the car in the "Visitor" space. When the little station had been converted ten years earlier from a single detached house into Kilkearnan's [Ireland] apology for a crime-prevention HQ, the Garda had deemed it appropriate that the four-man squad should be headed by an inspector. It seemed, perhaps, in retrospect, something of an over-reaction. With its thousand or so inhabitants, Kilkearnan regularly saw its ration of fisticuffs and affray outside one or more of the fourteen public houses; but as yet the little community had steered clear of any involvement in international smuggling or industrial espionage. Here, even road accidents were a rarity—though this was attributable more to the comparative scarcity of cars than to the sobriety of their drivers. Tourists there were, of course—especially in the summer months; but even they, with their Rovers and BMWs, were more often stopping to photograph the occasional donkey than causing any hazard to the occasional drunkard.

 Colin Dexter
"The Wench is Dead"
An Inspector Morse Novel

Why We Play Darts:

According to authors William Fitzgerald and Ivan Brackin, in their book All About Darts (Contemporary Books, 1975), there are several things that you are not required to do whilst playing darts:

1. Get bruised
   2. Dash 100 yards in 10 seconds
   3. Stay sober
   4. Walk 4 miles with a heavy bag
   5. Get wet
   6. Give up smoking
   7. Take a shower with other men

Pick a dilly.  Indeed!  (circa 1969)...

Television in a Pub

 Quite a bit of controversy - TV or no TV? I have read a number of times that one of the things that differentiates a genuine British - or Irish - pub from its wannabe cousin the North American pub is the television set. To many a purest, on both sides of the pond, a TV in a pub is simply wrong, and from the classic, old-school set of criteria I would tend to agree. There is nothing more pleasant than sitting in a nice quiet pub having a pint of their best, with nothing to interrupt the conversation - or your thoughts - particularly a blaring TV. Likewise, one would never consider sitting in a quaint street cafe in Paris, and watching TV, rather the passing parade of Parisians . The presence, or lack thereof, of the TV is one of the most obvious differences between a good pub and a text book North American sports bar. Good point.
  However, I can say that I have been in a number of very nice pubs in both the UK and Ireland where there was the dreaded widescreen TV on the wall - and it was just fine, particularly when the program was a live Premier League football match. On New Year's Day 2015, I found myself in a splendid UK pub called The Ashes, in the town of Burton End, watching the Spurs play somebody on a big flat screen. The pub was great, the game was exciting, the ale flowed, and the patrons were getting into it - all in all a good time. Really, it was just fine.
  On the other hand, I have been to any number of bars in North America that have the word "pub" in their titles, where the main room was surrounded by shimmering TV screens. Well, with all those flickering screens, and the addition of rather load music - a case of sensory overload is almost a certainty. Yes, a good sports bar is a fine thing, but I would just not say it was a pub, at least not in the classic sense. Your thoughts?

The Great IPA Challenge

   I have always wondered about the taste of India Pale Ale. Today, this variety of beer is immensely popular, especially over here in North America, with hundreds of different breweries producing their particular interpretation of what an IPA should taste like. It's that interpretation that I would like to challenge. Ok, maybe challenge is not the right word, let's use the word "verify" instead. We all know that an IPA is quite hoppy, sometimes almost the excess, but is that mega-hoppiness necessarily correct. Hence "The Great IPA Challenge." Let's begin with a short history of the IPA.
   Actually the history of India Pale Ale is quite a bit more obscure than many people think, with records and recipes being somewhat scarce, if extant at all. It is generally assumed, backed by ephemeral records, that English brewers began shipping their beer to India sometime around the late 1600s. According to Peter Mathias, who wrote the book "The Brewing Industry in England, 1700-1830," in 1697 some 700 barrels of beer were shipped to India. Not a lot, but a start. Trouble is, exactly what type of beer was being shipped to the sub-continent is not a certainty, but most likely it was a porter, at least in these early days. Although several brewers were soon shipping beer, of various styles including porters and pale ales, to India, the originator of what many assume to be the first real IPA was a Mr. George Hodgson. Well, maybe, maybe not.
   In 1752, Hodgson began brewing ales in a London brewery, and by 1790, he was shipping his product, which he first referred to as India ale, to India. History tends to posit that Hodgson actually garnered his place in beer history simply because he was, by far, shipping the most ale to India. Hodgson, and later his sons, who made money on both legs of the voyage - beer to India and exotic trade goods back to England - was quite aggressive in protecting his market share. Yes, Mr. Hodgson is usually credited, however uncorroborated, with the idea of over hopping a higher alcohol beer in order to ensure it survived the outward voyage, although this may or may not be exactly accurate. There are records of normal - i.e. not overly hopped - beer being shipped long distances with no major detrimental effects.

Still, it is a most accepted theory that Hodgson over hopped his ale, the hops acting as a preservative. The trouble is his recipe has long been lost, so formulating a beer to his specifications today - we don't actually know the type of hops, nor the amount used - is an educated guess, at best. Also, other breweries were using the same technique.
  A passage in Lord Askwith's 1928 book." British Taverns - Their History and Laws" noted that: "The Burton brewery [he does not note which one] exported as much beer abroad as they sold in England. But as faster ships and extended dominions made the trade [shipping and selling beers overseas] more profitable very considerable extension occurred, and extension which continued with increasing speed throughout the 19th Century, particularly after the Exhibition of 1851 [a century after Hodgson started brewing] and the resulting demand for bottled beer in India."  Unfortunately, Lord Askwith does not record what happened at this Exhibition to cause this increase in demand, nor whether the beer was considered an India Pale Ale. By the way, the "Great Exhibition of 1851," held at the newly built Crystal Palace in Hyde Park, was meant to showcase the worldwide economic dominance of English goods, including glass bottles. For example, a firm by the name of The Aire and Calder Bottle Company - from "Castleford near Pontefract" -  had a number a glass liquor and beer bottles on display.
  So, who did what first has been the subject of great discussion for years, so for the sake of détente among beer drinkers, let's just agree that Mr. Hodgson was the father, at least by virtue of quantity, of India Pale Ale. Now, on to the Great IPA Challenge.
 So today, in the most general terms, we perceive India Pale Ale as a heavily hopped, high alcohol pale ale, which right away is a bit odd as historic records indicate that Hodgson India Ale was actually a bit weaker than his other, home market ales. Who knows for sure? Anyway, there are a number of heritage brewers out there, working with beer historians, trying to replicate what an age-old IPA would taste like. I have read dozens of articles to this end, and applaud their efforts, but even most of these folks say their resultant recipes are assumptions, even if based on source records. The one thing that I have yet to see seriously replicated, however, is the voyage to India itself, and all the variables faced while at sea.

   Here is the challenge: Make a batch of IPA, based on the best vintage recipe available - or, alternatively, take a modern IPA recipe - and rack it into an oak cask. In either case, using an appropriate contraption, slowly, but continuously, rock the cask back and forth to imitate the motion of a ship. At the same time, cool it down for a few weeks, then heat it up for a few weeks, then cool it down again, and finally heat it back up, simulating the ship's slow progress through extremes of climate. If possible, add a highly humid, salty atmosphere, and some nasty bilge water to the mix. A well-made oak cask is nearly impermeable, but not 100 percent so. Do all of this over the span of at least a couple of months. Now, tap the keg and compare. How has the taste changed from the original? What did the British colonial soldier in India, who was a targeted consumer of IPAs, taste?
    To be honest, I have read articles about this very concept, but never to this depth.  I have even heard of a guy who travelled aboard a ship from the UK to India, toting his own keg of beer - but it was an aluminum keg. Not quite accurate. Sure, modern IPAs are often well aged, some in contact with oak, but there is more to it than that. The point is for the modern brewer to subject their ale to the same conditions that an ancient IPA faced, and note how the taste has changed. Is this a more accurate result, more than just letting a keg of ale quietly age in a cool dark room?
 I do enjoy an IPA on a fairly regular basis. As I sit there with a nice pint, I sometimes wonder if I took the IPA in my hand and subjected it to the conditions present in the olden days, what would it then taste like. I do read a lot about beer and brewing, but if I missed an article about the subject, drop me a line - I would love to read it. Thanks and Cheers!

How to Swear Like a Brit

Click on the link below - it will take you to the BBC America website, then to the Anglophenia link, and your host Kate Arnell. Lot's of great stuff here - enjoy.  

MG Midget circa 1970

The Gin Pahit

  So, the other day I was reading the short story "The Outstation" by H. Somerset Maugham, a tale about an exiled Englishman named Mr Warburton, the Resident of an obscure 19th Century British government station in Borneo. Early in the tale, the new assistant Resident - Mr Cooper - arrives to the station, and Mr Warburton, being steeped in the proper social protocols of his day, invites him to a welcoming dinner. 
   Soon after Mr Cooper's arrival to Mr Warburton's bungalow...
   "Two Malay boys, in sarongs and songkoks, with smart white coats and brass buttons, came in, one bearing gin pahits, and the other a tray on which were olives and anchovies."
   Hmmm...gin pahits?  I've never had one, I've never even heard of one, but knowing that Borneo is hot and humid, and knowing a bit about the proverbial 19th Century British expeditionary drinker's habits, I was curious.
   First of all gin is, well, gin. Pahit, on the other hand, is the Malay word for bitter, so a gin pahit is simply gin and bitters. Yup. And, that is actually an alternative name for the drink - gin and bitters - as well at the name pink gin. One reference indicates the origin of this drink comes from the Royal Navy, in a desire to make the administration of medicinal bitters more palatable. Perhaps, but the benefit of a few dashes of bitters is not certain. This, of course, is the same general concept of the gin and tonic.
   If you have a dozen drinks manuals, you will probably get a dozen different recipes for a gin pahit, however a simpler cocktail - save for the classic Martini -  you will not find: a number of ounces of gin and a number a dashes of bitters, with Angostura Bitters usually being the specified brand. Ice is often called for in these modern recipes, but knowing that the presence of ice at some remote 19th Century British outpost was certainly nonexistent, I think the original gin pahits were drunk at ambient temperature. 
  Here is a gin pahit I whipped up as an experiment - 1.5 ounces of Plymouth Gin and 4 dashes of Angostura, and I used ice and a gentle swirl in a shaker. I was quick with the swirl as I didn't want the ice to tamp down the kick of the gin. Remember that there was no ice in the jungle, so unless they cut the drink with a splash of water, they were drinking the gin a full strength. It came out pretty darn good, actually.  Cheers!

Pub Food - British Crisps

  In the UK they are called crisps, which is what we call chips, which of course is what they call French fries, which should really be called Belgian fries, and so on... Anyway, while over here in the U.S. we have a few potato chip flavors - regular, bbq, sour cream and onion, salt and vinegar, to mention a few - the British have a dizzying variety of crisps. Let's see, there are the rather normal flavors, like ready salted, smokey bacon, and cheese and onion. But then there is prawn cocktail, flame grilled steak, mature cheddar and onion, worcester sauce, pickled onion, oregano, Thai sweet chili, and my personal favorite, roasted chicken and thyme. I even heard there was an idea for cheesy beans on toast flavored crisps. There are more flavors, and new ones showing up on a regular basis.
  Walkers is just one of the brand at the shops, although there are others. I have been able to find a few here in the U.S., but not all of the flavors found that I used to eat in the UK. 
   I used to stay in a hotel in Essex, where I got to know the concierge - Albert - fairly well. One day I was just chatting with him when I mentioned my love of British crisps. A couple of days later, Albert waved me down, and produced a large plastic bag - the size of a trash bag - full of the big bags of Walkers crisps, with no two flavors repeated. I was in crisp heaven. I later repaid him with a kilo of fine Belgian chocolate. If you happen to stay at the Radisson Blu - Stansted Airport Hotel, say hello to Albert for me - cheers!

The British to American
Automobile Translator

Anti-roll bar - Stabiliser or Sway Bar  
Big-end bearing - Rod bearing
Bonnet (engine cover) – Hood                                
 Boot (luggage compartment) - Trunk
Bulkhead - Firewall                                                     
Choke/venture – Barrel
Damper - Shock absorber                                         
Drop head coupe - Convertible
Dynamo - Generator (DC)                                           
Earth (electrical) - Ground
Estate car - Station wagon                                          
Exhaust manifold - Header                                         
Gearbox - Transmission
Gear change - Shift                                                    
Gudgeon pin - Piston pin
Halfshaft - Axleshaft                                                    Handbrake - Parking brake
Hood - Soft top                                                             Indicator- Turn signal
Motorway - Freeway, Turnpike                                    Number plate - License plate
Paraffin - KerosenePetrol – Gasoline                          Petrol tank - Gas tank
Propeller shaft - Driveshaft                                          Rocker cover - Valve cover
Saloon - Sedan                                                              Silencer - Muffler
Spanner - Wrench                                                          Sump - Oil pan
Quarterlight - Quarter window                                     Tappet - Valve lifter
Thrust bearing - Throw-out bearing                             Top gear - HighTorch - Flashlight
Tyre - TireWheel nut - Lug nut                                       Windscreen – Windshield

Got another one? Drop us a line and we will add it to the list. Happy Motoring.

An Excerpt...

  She was well aware that directly Mrs Neale received her money she went round the corner to drink ardent spirits in a mean and musty public house - the unavoidable station on the via dolorosa of her life.

  and later...

  "Indeed!" Mr Verloc was moved to say. Though since his return from Greenwich he spent most of his time sitting in the taproom of an obscure little public house, he could hardly have hoped for more favourable news.

The Secret Agent
by Joseph Conrad
1921

British Television Trivia

  Do you remember that episode of The Avengers called "The Town of No Return," circa 1965, where Steed and Mrs. Peel are dispatched to deal with some nefarious goings-on in a small coastal village called Little Bazeley-by-the-Sea?
  Central to the story was a cozy little pub, run by a former (or he said he was former) Royal Air Force Flying Officer by the name of "Piggy" Warren, who flew during the war with No. 33 Squadron, a fighter squadron nicknamed the "Fighting 33rd," or as Piggy called them, the "Thirsty 33rd." Not to spoil the plot, but old Piggy may or may not have been who he says he was.
   Here's the British television trivia question for the day: What was the name of this pub? The answer appears below.
  Flying Officer Warren (played by Terence Alexander), was the pub's landlord, and he had some great lines throughout this episode. When Steed and Mrs. Peel order a brandy at the bar, Piggy refers to their order as," A jar or two of the jolly old splosh" and "Three tots of Napoleon’s revenge." Later, when Steed tries to sneak out of the pub, but Piggy catches him, Steed say he was simply coming down for a night cap. Piggy observes with a laugh that Steed needs, "A quiet little snifter before the ol' brain box bashes the pillow." Great stuff.
   "The Town of No Return" was directed by Roy Baker, and written by Brian Clemens. Unfortunately, prolific scriptwriter and producer Brian Clemens recently passed away in January 2015. Born in 1931, in Croydon, Clemens went to work for the BBC in 1955, the start of a long career with various production companies, both in TV and film. In the U.S. his most familiar work is, of course, The Avengers, and its follow-on show The New Avengers. He also wrote for the classic British spy series Danger Man, known more familiarly in the U.S. as Secret Agent. Clemens also wrote for such U.S. TV shows as Perry Mason, and later Remington Steele.  One quintessential series created by Brian Clemens, that never managed to cross the Atlantic, was The Professionals, on air in the UK from 1977 through 1983. This show was about the exploits of two agents - Raymond Doyle and William Bodie - from CI5 (Criminal Intelligence 5, sort of like MI5), and their world-wise handler George Cowley. If you love The Avengers, then you will likewise love The Professionals, so one your next trip to the UK, see if you can find it on TV. I have tried to find it on DVD, over here in the U.S., but without luck - Pity.

  Just a bit more trivia...This episode was actually filmed twice - with two different Mrs. Peels. The first Mrs. Peel was played by Elizabeth Shepherd. With this episode in the can, work was started on the second episode ("The Murder Market"), starring Shepherd, but for various reasons, she was fired. Enter Diana Rigg. "The Town of No Return" was re-filmed, and television history was made.

  Oh, the answer to the trivia question, the pub is called "The Inebriated Gremlin."

It's the Rum Talking:

A few bits of Navy Rum-Speak  (Courtesy of the Old Royal Navy)

"Bob's-a'Dying: A drunken bash.
(The) Framework of Hospitality: 3 sippers equals 1 gulp, 3 gulps equals 1 tot.
Gulper: One big gulp from another's rum ration.
Grog: Many versions, but the most common is noted as 2 parts water, mixed with 1 part rum.
(A) Long Swig at the Halliards: To get drunk.
Neat: Rum without water.
Sandy Bottom: To see what's in the bottom of a fellow's rum mug.
Sipper: One small sip from another's rum ration.
"Splice the Main Brace": An invitation to drinks, or alternatively a double tot of rum awarded for a job well done.  "Let's splice the main brace" - "Let's have a drink."
Tot: 1/8 pint of rum. Once the standard Royal Navy rum ration.

Know more? Drop us a line.

The Beer Engine

What a wonderful concept - the Beer Engine, an engine that brings you beer.
  In general there are two types of bulk beer delivery systems. One is a keg that is pressurized with a compressed gas cylinder. Walk into most North American pubs and you will usually find a row of beer taps, and if you pull one of these taps, the gas moves the beer from the keg to your glass. Cheers! The vast majority of tap beers here in North America are brought to you using this method, the kegs being stored in a climate controlled environment.
  Or, do you remember going to a kegger, and having to pump that infuriating handle just to get a dribble of foamy beer into your plastic cup? Same concept - the pump pressurizes the keg, albeit somewhat inefficiently.
   Now, a beer engine is a hand powered pump that pulls the beer out of the keg - or more accurately, the cask - and pumps it into your glass. The beer in these casks tends to be pressurized only by the natural gas production as a result of secondary fermentation (cask conditioning), and there is not a supplementary gas cylinder. There is certainly not enough natural pressurization in the cask to properly move the beer. Thus, there needs to be a way to get beer into your tankard - the beer engine. Oftentimes, these casks are located in the cellar of the pub, with the temperature of the cellar setting the temperature of the beer. Hence the concept: Cask conditioned ale served at cellar temperature. Again, Cheers!
  The beer engine harkens back hundreds of years, back when there was no such thing as a compressed gas cylinder. Quite common - nearly obligatory (which is a good thing) - in UK pubs, beer engines are a bit more rare in North American pubs, but they can be found. The proliferation of brew pubs and craft brewers have resulted in fine examples of cask conditioned beers on this side of the pond, and the beer they produce needs a way to move. The relative merit of a beer engine vice a gas-powered tap, and its effect on the beer, is the topic of much discussion. I tend to think the quality of the beer, regardless of the delivery method, is the key. That said, a darn good ale, delivered via a beer engine, is a thing of beauty, indeed. It's all up to you.

A few components of a typical beer engine:
 The Hand Pump - The actual pump, usually located beneath the bar.
The Swan Neck - That curved pipe that directs the beer into your glass.
The Sparkler - A small nozzle on the end of the swan neck that introduces a small amount of air into the beer, often producing a foamy head in the glass.
The Pump Handle - Obviously, that big wooden handle.
The Pump Clip - An emblem attached to the pump handle noting the brand of beer being pumped.

A note about the sparkler - Everything about beer is purely subjective, and the use of the sparkler is no different.  Some say it makes the beer better, improving the aroma and taste, actually enhancing the presence of the hops. Other say just the opposite, postulating that the small amount of air introduced is a detriment to the aroma and taste, reducing the prevalence of the hops. One review I read stated that the sparkler actually bruised the beer. Bruised - hmmm - can you define that? Since the sparkler is removable it would be interesting to do a side-by-side taste test. I have yet to conduct such a test. In any case, the appropriateness of a sparkler is purely up to the individual.

Salutation and Cat. What’s in a Name"?

We all know that public house names can be somewhat mysterious as to their meaning. Here's one for you.

Back in the late 1890s there was a tavern - also termed a dining tavern - at No. 17 Newgate Street in London, called the "Salutation and Cat." It had been long tended to the landlord, a certain Mr. Thomas. Many thought that the meaning of this title had to do with saying hello to a mate and then something to do with a cat. Most, however, could not fathom the connection between the two. A hint could be found hanging in a frame on the wall of the tavern.
This painting in question depicted a gentleman of the era saluting a friend he met on the street. Part of the greeting included this gentleman offering his friend a pinch of snuff out of a snuff box that was part of the top of his cane. These "box knobs" on a cane were also known as "cats," although it must be said that why these box knobs were called cats has been obscured by time.
Anyway, by the turn of the century the Salutation and Cat was simply referred to as the Salutation Tavern - no mention of a cat.

Source: Old London Taverns, by E Callow - 1899.

Pub Etiquette - Just Squeeze the Chicken

 Just Squeeze the Chicken...
 This photo shows the cozy downstairs room at the Half Moon pub, in Bishops Stortford, UK. Through the back of the bar, the barkeep can access the upstairs portion of the pub. Now, at times when the pub is kinda quiet there will be only one barkeep on duty, so if they happen to be in the other part of the pub, there must be a way to signal them that your glass is empty. Simply yelling would, of course, be rather rude. In this photo you can see (you may need to click on the image to enlarge it) a rubber chicken hanging from the ceiling beam, just to the right of the taps. Give it a squeeze, it squawks and the barkeep magically appears to fill you glass - what a perfect system!

Pub Cat - really?

  Here's a bit of pub esoterica for you. It was once quite common to display a mummified cat in a pub. This practice was reportedly used to guard against evil spirits entering the pub. 

Pub Dog - Rules to Live By...

 Seen at a British Pub - The Three Horseshoes Pub, Molehill Green

Pub to Pub - The Public Footpaths in the UK

  Free Public Service Announcement:  They don't serve ale in prison.
  So with that in mind, getting thrown in the clink for drinking and driving is wrong. Actually it's really wrong on many levels. So when you are heading down to your local pub for even a couple of pints it's always a good idea to leave your car at home. It's always better to walk - no worries then.
  Here in the US, if you happen to live in the big city, walking to your local is not much of a problem. But what about if you live in the suburbs or out in the country? Walking can be a bit more problematical as a direct route to the pub is not often available. Not so in the UK.
  Much of the countryside, and indeed many of the major cities, are crisscrossed by public footpaths. Sometimes these paths are paved, but oftentimes they are just a trail through the woods, or across a farmers field. They are free to be used by the public with essentially no restrictions. Some do have restrictions on the type of traffic, i.e. no horses or no motorized vehicles. Others are less restrictive - depends on the path. 
Many public footpaths date back hundreds, if not thousands of years. Some are believed to predate the Romans. For a fine background to the history of the public footpath, please log on to: Cambridgeshire Walks. 
   Below is a sample of a map produced by the fine folks at the UK Ordnance Survey. Note that the green dashed lines are the public footpaths. For more information on these great maps, that cover the whole of the UK, please log on to: Ordnance Survey Maps. If you like maps - like me - you will find these maps quite fascinating. 

   By the way, that blue tankard symbol on this map indicates a pub. Quite helpful those Ordnance Survey folks. In this case it is a great country pub called The Three Horseshoes. For a number a years I used to stay at the Radisson Blu hotel, at the London Stansted Airport, and I plied the public footpaths many a time getting to and from The Three Horseshoes. Nothing better than a pint of Captain Bob Bitter (brewed by the Mighty Oak Brewing Company, right there in Essex), sitting outside on a warm summer day watching the airliners land a Stansted - perfect.

Pub's Open!  My Own Garage Pub

Is this a great pub fireplace, or what?

   A great pub always has a great fireplace. They go together like beans on toast. This one can be found in the Three Horseshoes pub, in Molehill Green, UK. I must confess that having frequented this pub only in the summer, I have yet to see this fireplace in operation. Clearly a dedicated trip is on order.